Intimate partner violence is when one partner deliberately and intentionally hurts the other.
Intimate partner violence can come in different forms, including physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, financial, and spiritual.
Intimate partner violence may also be called domestic abuse, family violence, violence against women, or gender based violence. Those experiencing intimate partner violence are mostly women, but it can also affect men. It is extremely common in New Zealand, with 1 in 3 women having experienced being abused by a partner in their lifetime.
Whatever the term used to describe it, intimate partner violence is abuse. It is a pattern and cycle of control and coersion used by one partner in an intimate relationship to dominate the other person. Coersion involves the use of force or threats to intimidate or hurt victims and instil fear. Control tactics are designed to isolate the victim and foster dependence on the abusive partner. Together these abusive tactics inhibit resistance and escape.
Coersion tactics:
- violence (beating, strangling, sexual violence, using weapons)
- intimidation (threatening, jealously watching, stalking, shaming, degrading, destroying property; can include violence toward children and pets/animals).
Control tactics:
- isolation (limiting contact with family, whānau, friends and support networks, monitoring movements, limiting access to help and information)
- depriving, exploiting, micro-regulating everyday life - limiting access to survival resources like food/ money/ mobile phone, or controlling how they dress.
If you feel you are in an abusive relationship please see the organisations listed which may be able to help you. Skylight can provide counselling support to you and children or please contact the resource centre for further information.