Talking it out


Young people have said that talking things through with someone can mean...

  • having help to sort out your feelings and put things into perspective
  • getting help to feel heaps better - it’s a relief
  • someone else can help you deal with stuff 
  • you don’t have to feel it’s just your problem anymore - someone else cares
  • you feel supported and feel less alone 
  • you've got someone to keep talking it over with as you go along
  • you can be helped to find more help, if you need it


Finding someone to talk to

You can choose who to talk to. Some young people have said they look for someone who: 
  • is a good listener 
  • understands your situation and is supportive 
  • can keep things confidential and private 
  • is honest with you 
  • won’t criticise you or judge you 
  • has ‘been there’ themselves in some way 
  • you respect  
  • you like 
  • you can trust


Someone you might talk to could be… 
  • one or both of your parents, or a grandparent 
  • a big sister or brother, or cousin 
  • an aunt or uncle 
  • a teacher 
  • a counsellor - at school or in the community 
  • a peer counsellor 
  • a social worker 
  • a youth leader 
  • a minister 
  • an elder/ kaumatua or kuia 
  • another trusted adult 
  • a close friend

You could also call Youthline (0800 376 633) or other free phone counselling lines in your area. Look at the front of your phone book for numbers.

But what if I just can’t talk about it... ?

Some young people suggest.

  • writing a letter, email, note or text to someone...writing it down can help you get over your nervousness.
  • taking a friend with you for support when you go to talk to an adult
  • talking on the phone is easier for some people
  • choosing a time that suits you, when you’re feeling like talking
  • remembering once you’ve broken the ice, it can get easier to keep on going
  • making a list of the key things to say, or questions you want to ask
  • not giving up - trying until you find the right time and the right person to listen
Go Shopping.