Getting Through Grief

When things are tough, even everyday life can be hard to manage. Our thoughts and feelings can be very intense.

Getting through rough times is different for everyone - because we're all different! Bit by bit we adjust to what has happened to us. (Even if we hate what's happend to us.) For some, this can take a relatively short time. For others, it can take a long time. However long it takes, that's how long it's going to be for you. Often we underestimate the time we need to adjust to a big changes, trauma and loss in our lives.

When we're facing difficult stuff, all the thoughts, feelings and reactions we experience are known as grief.

Grief is a natural, normal human response. It's the way we gradually adjust our lives to the reality of what's happened - whatever that might be. Everyone grieves differently. Grief can affect us more than just emotionally. It can affect us physically, mentally, socially and spiritually. Your grief is like your fingerprint - unique and personal to you. There are no 'right' or 'wrong' ways to experience grief. There's no secret 'method' that will take your grief instantly away. There are no 'rules'. There is no set timetable. Grief isn't a test. Grief isn't a race or a competition. And while it might be hard to believe, it does slowly get easier to handle.

Grief is like a wave

Experiencing loss and grief is like being caught in a wave so huge and forceful that you can't figure out which way is up. You're confused, flung around all over the place and forced to catch a breath whenever you can get air. Some of the he grief thoughts, feelings and reactions you have may;

 

  • come and go - ebbing and flowing like waves
  • can come at you one at a time can crash on you all at once
  • blend into each other be brief - last for just minutes be intense and seem to last forever
  • be hard to put into words be unexpected and scary
  • be totally numbing and paralysing
  • be overwhelming at times and feel out of control
  • be delayed and hit you at a later time
  • challenge you and help you learn more about yourself...

 

It might be hard to believe, but things do slowly get easier to handle.

Gradually we start to feel more okay than we did before. The intensity of what we're feeling and experiencing will decrease. "Feeling okay again" usually happens slowly, often without us even being aware of it. We start to realise things aren't quite as rough for us as they were before.

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